Bastard Members

The Bastard is not at all like your bank which sells your personal details to all and sundry. We at The Bastard will do our best to keep your personal details secret.

We do log the time of your last log in however as a quality control

We at The Bastard do log our guests IP addresses for 5 minutes to display the number of people who are accessing The Bastard at any time. After 5 minutes a guests IP log is deleted

You bastards forfeit the right to privacy when you,

1. commit a crime.
2. are arrested.
3. stand up in judgement over others
4. go to war
5. stand for election to any public or private body
6. are appointed to any public or private body
7. make any public declaration.
8. Irritate one of the authors.

We reserve the right to free speech, and to re write what you say, or even make it up, in such a way as to give the real meaning without fancy double talk, down right lies, taste, decency or political correctness.

The Bastard is satirical magazine, and an equal opportunities abuser of people in the public eye. That is to say that at The Bastard we hand out ridicule and abuse to all and sundry in an equal manner and without malice.

The Bastard as such cannot be taken seriously by anyone. Any offence taken by the reader is figment of a demented imagination and / or a guilty conscience on the part of the reader.

Any and all offence taken by a reader or readers will be taken as a compliment to the staff and editorial team at The Bastard