Australia - England’s not particularly good first innings was followed by a fairly good one for Australia, which was followed by a pretty pissy one from England – spelling disaster for England and victory for Australia, again. The only thing matching England’s current inability to play – and it’s not for want of good players – is the captain’s never-say-die attitude. Whilst Freddie concedes that Australia are “hard to play against”, he went on to suggest that England have “still got a lot to play for”.

We’re not quite sure what he means there, but his plucky attitude is certainly endearing him to the sports staff in the Bastard offices. Sadly his bad luck down-under will probably mean that poor old Flintoff won’t lead the team in the following one-day series, which would be a shame. A man with that much pluck shouldn’t be let go.