How do you start an argument with a chav?
Speak!

What do you call a chav in a tastfully decorated house?
The burglar.

What do you call a Chavette in a white tracksuit?
The bride.

What do you say to a chav at work?
Can i have a big mac please?

What do chavs use as protection during sex?
A bus shelter!

If you see a Chav on a bike, why should you try not to run him over?
It might be your bike.

What's the difference between a Chav and a coconut?
One's thick and hairy, the other's a coconut.

What's the first question at a Chav quiz night?
"What you lookin' at?"

Chavs in a car without any drum 'n' bass pumping on the stereo. Who's driving?
The police.

What do you call a chav in a suit?
The accused

The Zigster